i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
