quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
