Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sarcasm needs its own font
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize