Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
