I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
