I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
