did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
