is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
