I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
