I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
