You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
