This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
