my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
