would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I could make wine with my vomit
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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