Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize