Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize