i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
