You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
