The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize