operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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