Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize