Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
