One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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