is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
