i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
