this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize