Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
