remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
