I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize