return my video game
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
