I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
