They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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