At least make sure they are 18
Why
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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