used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
