Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize