Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
