Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
