I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
