how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
