so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
