We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
