I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
