he thought i was a dude.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
