After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
