Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
