how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
