So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
