You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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