I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
