you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
