the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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