Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
