god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
