Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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