Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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