We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
