Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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