Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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