U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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