Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize