Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
