Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
