If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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