apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
