btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
