i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize