Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
soo... how was my night?
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