I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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