I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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