So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
